When we first entered the building, our group was greeted by a squinty-eyed old codger who was older than dirt.

Really. I’m not kidding.

I’m betting this guy played the banjo while Nero fiddled.

I was in awe over his appearance, which was somewhere between “classic cave-dwelling hermit” and “western gold rush coalminer”.

He was awesome!

He barked something unintelligible in our general direction that sounded like “murble murble crumbcakes snarf”, and then proceeded to forget we were there.

I looked back at the men to see if they had understood whatever secret military code he was speaking in, but by their blank looks I could see that they hadn’t.

I tried talking to him, but he was locked inside some kind of old-man-meditative-trance.

At that point I did the only thing you can do in that sort of situation:

I poked him with a pen.

It wasn’t quite the same as poking him with a stick, but it did the job.

Suddenly he snapped back to reality, extending a hand and pointing a withered finger in my direction.

“The lady gets in for free.” he solemnly intoned.

Hooray! Who knew childhood tendencies would serve me so well?

I skipped ahead into the club, feeling his myopic glare boring into my back for the entire length of the hall.

It was finally time to see if all the rumors about this club were true.

We all regrouped at the main dance area, and took our time glancing around at this notorious den of iniquity.

Huh.

As it turns out, it was a pretty nice setup. The girls I saw were all attractive, well groomed, with perfect makeup and amazing bodies. The ones I spoke with were also fairly intelligent and had a sense of humor.

I was surprised.

Frankly, I had been told that the O’Farrell theatre was raunchy as hell.

Was my info wrong?

I decided the best way to find out was to get a lap dance.

Looking around, I spotted a gorgeous brunette and asked her for the basic lap dance info.

She smiled at me, licked her lips, and then started quoting positions and prices like some kind of kinky maitre d’.

As it turns out, the girls in this place all do more than just a few “extras”.

In fact, the extras are so common that they take the place of normal strip club activities. If I was so inclined, I could fuck my beautiful brunette for just $300.

For $400, I could fuck her for an hour. The prices worked on a sliding scale, depending on what I wanted to do.

I was… surprised.

Not because of what they were doing, but because of the way they were doing it. there was not even a hint of dancing in that place. The girls walked across the stage like contestants in a Miss America contest.

They didn’t even touch the pole.

As far as I could tell, the O’Farrell theatre was more or less a nice quality brothel.

Beautiful girls, set prices, and private rooms.

We left to go find some places were the girls actually danced, but I considered it an altogether interesting and informative experience.

to be continued…