So for a while, I was amassing a collection of disguised or transformer style vibrators.
You know the type. The kind of vibrators that look like a cell phone, a tube of lipstick, a hairbrush, or a rubber duckie.

Yes, a rubber duckie.

I’m pretty sure anyone who is reading this blog has either seen these cute little toys for sale, or currently owns one. They are rather prolific. You can get mini ones, big ones, black ones, bondage ones, devil ones, or pretty much any variation that your humorous little heart desires.

When I first moved away from home, my mother had a habit of dropping by my apartment at unexpected times. This was all fine and dandy, except for the fact that I was living in a studio apartment, and the bed was right in the middle of the room.

Yes. My bed.

As you are probably aware by now, it wasn’t a princess canopy with pretty pink sheets.

I had customized it quite a bit, and had installed shelves over the headboard to hold all my…ummm… toys. Frankly, since I saw them every day I’d just gotten use to their presence, like they were simple furniture pieces or something equally banal.
This became a problem when my mom would drop by for tea, and I’d forget to cover them or put them away.

Ugh.

I’ll never forget the first time that happened.

I was chatting with my mother about her garden, and realized after 20 minutes that she was studiously keeping her eyes on her teacup. I glanced around the room, and realized with slowly dawning horror that a few feet away, right in my mother’s line of sight, was a shelf proudly displaying a colorful assortment of vibrators, restraints, oils, lotions, whips, and a single, glorious, no-nonsense strap-on.

Yeah.

She never mentioned it, but that was the day I took a deep interest in disguised vibrators.

The first addition to my new collection was an “I rub my duckie”

It looks, feels, and floats in the tub like a normal bath toy. Despite being a little heavier than your average rubber duck, I’d say it makes a great incognito vibe for those living with roommates or parents. Just make sure not to let anyone squeeze the back, since that’s how you turn it on.

Personally, I used it more as a novelty item than as a serious sex toy, since the shape of the duck makes clit stimulation a bit of an effort. You more or less just press the duck up against yourself while it’s vibing away.

A fun thing to do when you’re bored is to turn it on and let it float in the bath, since the vibrations make it swim around.

For myself, I like it for it’s novelty value, it’s nostalgia, and the fact that despite it’s awkward shape, it’s good for bath time relaxation.

Just be aware that it’s a loud little fucker.