Ouch!

What the hell? I feel like I was beaten about the legs and back with an angry porcupine.

I’m not positive what is causing this sensation (mostly because my old nemesis Mr. Tequila seems to have sneakily made off with a chunk of short term memories) but I think I have an idea. This weekend, I was at a party where the hosts just happened to have a violet wand.

After a few drinks and several dares, the amazing contraption was pulled out and passed around with…er…electrifying results.

Fortified with alcohol and feeling no pain, I subjected my poor legs and feet to more voltage than I probably should have. This morning I discovered little tiny burns (rather like itty bitty sunburns) all over my calves from the nerve wheel, and all over my arms from the Mylar “whip”.

(Incidentally, I think the funniest thing about getting attacked with a Mylar whip is that the wielder looks like a demented cheerleader. They resemble the pom-poms from a kid’s discount Halloween costume, but with a fairly intense zing and lots of sparks. Good stuff.)

The metal beaded whip wasn’t that interesting for me, but the glass rake and the small glass rod worked out well. I tend to like things with less surface area, so the jolt is more concentrated and intense.

I learned a lesson last night that I will take with me to the grave: DO NOT LICK THE VIOLET WAND. Trust me on that one.

I prefer using my hands as the instrument of zappiness, since I can feel how high the voltage is turned. However, the metal banjo picks my hosts supplied (slipped over the tips of the fingers like claws) kept the intimacy but added a bit more zing.

Hmmm…I think I’ll add this to my birthday list.

I’ll just try and resist the temptation to zap the cats when they misbehave.