Ahhhh… whipped cream.
It’s considered an erotic staple by a good majority of the population, and various women’s magazines routinely suggest it as a way to “spice things up in the bedroom”.
However, things rarely work out quite the way they describe in those glossy paged articles.
A typical problem you experience with canned aerosol dairy products is that when it sits for even a moment on hot skin, it melts and begins to slide off.

My first experiments with whipped cream as a teenager left both me and my partner covered in a migratory mess of cream, cherries, and tangled sheets.
(As a side note, and as many of you are probably aware, maraschino cherries do in fact stain the skin.)

After that fiasco, I just started using cool whip.

Sure you have to sacrifice the cool rosettes you can make with the canned variety, but as far as I’m concerned the benefits are worth it.
For starters, it stays where you put it. This is important if your partner is wiggling about, and you care about your sheets.

Also, I like how you can thaw it to room temperature without making it loose form or body. Cold creaminess is wonderful for certain situations, but it’s nice to have the option of comfort.

A while back I discovered cool whip come out with seasonal flavors, and have given a few of them a try in the bedroom. So far, I’d have to say my favorite is chocolate. The French vanilla is nice, and eggnog puts you in the holiday spirit, but the chocolate variety tastes like a whipped chocolate mousse.

A few nights ago it was mentioned to me that alcohol can be added to the whip to give it an interesting kick. I think I may just have to try it out in the name of science, and let you all know the results.