Aaaahhhh… chocolate.

Such a lovely word, for such a lovely confection.

Chocolate has long been regarded as a tasty aphrodisiac, so it comes as no surprise to find such a wide assortment of spreadable, edible chocolate products at your local adult stores.

The question we must ask is: Are they any good?

Unfortunately, the answer is mostly no.

There are a few that are better quality, and some that are actually quite good, but they are usually specialty items and rare indeed.

The bulk of the ones offered are in pretty bottles, but in reality no closer to chocolate than a tootsie roll. Oh sure, there will be cocoa in them, but that’s pretty much where the similarity ends.

I like giving good reviews, I really do.

But I also like chocolate, and am damn picky about the quality of the chocolate I buy.

Lured in by the pretty bottle, I decided to give “chocolate body painting by Shunga erotic arts” a try.

The packaging is lovely. The product tastes like Hershey’s syrup mated with a tootsie roll during a wild weekend in Cancun.

Not terrible, but not exactly chocolate.

Now granted, the taste wasn’t perfect. However, that alone wasn’t enough to give the product a bad review. What ended up digging the poor product’s grave was the fact that it beads and runs off the skin.

This is SUPPOSED to be for BODY PAINTING! How could they make a product that not only won’t stay put, but will most likely ruin your sheets beyond even the most determined of dry cleaners?!

Honestly, Shunga. Try and work with me here.

The “brush” they supply (for the supposed painting this product utterly fails at), is a thin bit of sponge tied onto a stick. Needless to say, it didn’t work all that well.

In the end, I was left with much less of a “sexy chocolate body painting” and more of a “vaguely cocoa flavored smear”.

Oh well. It does look pretty on the nightstand.