Hey my little chickadees!

Today’s review is for the fun and festively patterned “jungle Bullet” vibrator.

Why is it called a jungle bullet you ask?

Well, as far as I can tell it’s because this sexy little vibe comes in a really cool looking black and red tiger pattern.

You know, fierce authentic jungle cat by way of hot topic.

Just kidding! Actually it IS one of the cooler looking bullet vibes out there, and the pattern is on both the controller and the bullet itself. The vibration controls can be adjusted using only one finger (which is pretty useful when you’re hands are otherwise occupied.) and it’s water proof for easy cleaning.

Now, the water proof aspect was one of my main reasons for picking up this particular item.

The helpful saleslady over at Good Vibrations had told me that bullet vibrators are almost exclusively used for external stimulation. However, I am a shameless rebel who is willing to take many fun and sassy risks in the name of science, and slipped it in anyway just to see what would happen.

I have to say, I think she was right.

It was nice, and when you cranked the power up all the way you got a fun buzz, but that was about it. After a few minutes I decided to experiment, and used my muscles to push and pull it inside. That actually worked a lot better, until I squeezed a little too hard and the bullet shot out like a rocket, smacking me in the kneecap and leaving a small bruise.

I think I need to work on my aim. That trick could really come in handy some day.

There is a fairly large seam about halfway down the vibe itself , but it didn’t cause a problem either for insertion or for clitoral stimulation, so I won’t count that as a downside.

I was going to try and experiment with it in the bath, but I never got the chance.

After cleaning and putting it away in a drawer, I went out to get the mail.

When I got back to the apartment, I found that my evil little devil kitties had opened the drawer (something they had never done before) pulled it out, and begun batting it around the living room like a mouse.

One of them grabbed the bullet part, the other grabbed the controller, and in the ensuing scuffle it got turned on.

This was not good.

They BOTH freaked out, decided that this little bastard of a jungle-patterned mouse had insulted the honor of their ancestors, and proceeded to rip the cord to shreds before I could intervene.

Rest in pieces, dear little jungle bullet vibe.

We hardly knew you.